For some reason I love tuesdays. Maybe it's because dreadful Monday is over which means the physical conditioning part of our P.E. is over. Man, I hate Monday PE. It's so bleagh. Didn't go for PE yesterday though, was feeling lazy and a bit... uneasy. Haha. I can't wait for thursday! Soccer again! I want to score another goal. It's better than sex! Not that I have had sex before BUT everyone's like comparing every other thing to sex now! Haha. So, yeah whatever. I just hope I don't fall again! My leg's even uglier than usual! The whole skin from my ankle just got peeled off! It was disgusting! But, nevertheless I still cannot wait for PE!

Anyways, skipped tamil today. First time skipping tamil. The translators skipped tamil too so I figured that there's no use going for tamil because he's not going to understand a word the both (Shreeya and Me) say. So, no tamil. Maybe that's why I am feeling extra happy today.

So, instead of going for tamil we just talked crap and like rated the guys in our school. Only one person in our school got a perfect 10! That was from me; the guitarist got a perfect 10! Haha, they said it was not counted since it's only based on erm... looks. But whatever.

And today MELISSA YEO BI NING crashed school! Haha, I was damn shocked. And she hasn't changed one bit! Haha, disturbing me about the same things! haha but i miss her disturbing me! Haha , she's one retarded kid man! haha. It was really great to see her!

Yea, so I was going home and then I saw... Faizal. Haha. Haven't seen him in a year! Didn't know what to say to him! Havent talked to him in a while too! It was really awkward, but I handled the thing pretty well. Was proud of myself! So, after this awkward situation I was thinking about the past. Like my secondary 2 days and all. And I realised I have changed so much. For the better that is. I really have come a long way. I mean I wasn't uncontrollable or anything during sec2. It was just I didn't even know myself. I now have full control of myself, I know myself pretty well, and most importantly my relationship with my family is really good! They trust me! And.. of course my results is proof of this change I went through. I am thankful that I went to 3/7! I just love that class so damn much.!

Anyways, yesterday I went over to Mediacorp at Andrew Road to collect some stuff. And omg, you have to walk up like this huge hill thing. But, we took cab so it wasn't that bad BUT I had to walk down! My legs were going to fall off! But, as we walked down, I saw all this beautiful big mansion like houses. Actually, I think they were mansions. I took pictures of some of them. They were great and they have like 2-3 cars and all!. AAhhhh. Haha, I think these pictures are gonna be my motivation for me to work my ass off!

Anyways,I'm gonna miss 0643A so damn much!
SHARON THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE DEDICATION! WILL MISS YOU SO MUCH. LOVE YOU!

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Went for the thanksgiving mass at IJ TP on Wednesday. Was at 0745 I think but we reached there at like 0805. Got there just in time for the homily but still missed like 1/4 of it. Everyone was just laughing their heads off but I didn't understand Father Simon. So I was just like... bleagh. Yeah, and I was so annoyed at Miss Shanthi! She was like deliberately looking for people with like problem with their dressing! And she bought extra t-shirts and ask the problem girls to wear those t-shirts. What the hell. And some of those problem girls didn't really have a ...problem with their dressing. It was not revealing at all just a simple t-shirt. Like Nat Ho, she was wearing a black t-shirt and black tapered pants and she was asked to change into a white shirt. Maybe she looked too ... gothic? haha or something. But still, it was not like she had heavy eyeliner and whatever. But ok maybe I except that black is not really a church-ish colour but there were others with yellow t-shirts and all getting caught and were forced to wear oversized white t-shirts. Seriously, I cannot and couldn't find anything wrong with yellow giordano-like t-shirts!Bleagh. But anyways, after that went to Burger King with Keisha and Angelina and talked for l ike 3 hours plus.

Damn, I realised I have been spending alot of money lately on... food. I am going to get like fatter! I was supposed to save 80 bucks but ended up saving about 50 bucks I think. Every week I eat at like some high-maintenance place like Pasta Mania yesterday, and Mos Burger the day before! Well, at least I get to spend time with friends. Gonna miss all of them like crap once I leave Innova! And I won't get to see my guitarist anymore. Oh man! Haha. :( Sigh. But I have a feeling that by the end of the week, I won't like him anymore! Damn! That is if more people tell me stuff about him.

Anyways, I was talking to a friend last night and he freaking changed so much... for the worst! But, I am not really in a position to say anything because I am not close to him at all. But I've known him for a couple of years, maybe 2-3 years. I wanted to tell him that I am not comfortable with whatever he's doing but then I felt I am in no position to say that simply because I am not close. And yet, I call him my friend. If he really was my friend, I would have discouraged whatever the hell he 's doing. But me, being the worst friend in the world acted like as though what he was doing was cool! I fucking hate myself! I am most probably the worst friend in the world.!

So, the whole of last night I felt guilty for not telling him what he was doing was just wrong. I hate his fucking friends for introducing him to all this shit. I wish I could just rewind the night! I just wished he stayed there dammit!

Bleagh. Whatever.

I just wished everything had turned out alright between them.

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Today was a weird day. Yeah. It was Alvin's last day. He's gonna go to ACS(I). Will really miss him. He's funny, retarded, sweet, nice and he is a true christian with the right moral values and everything. OH and he loves indie music((: He is always sharing his music with me! Thanks so much ALVIN! I am going to miss you like shit! Everyone's gonna miss you.

And Sharon, hope you'll feel better alright. I know you know that things are going to change but it's inevitable. Just try to make the best out of whatever time you spent with him alright?

Anyways, yesterday me, Yanni, Shelly, Angelia, Sharon and Zaki went to pizza hut yesterday and yeah we talked... alot! Yeah, it was like a scary eye-opener actually! It's like there is politics in JC. Or rather a scene out of the movie 'Mean Girls'. These are the few things I've learnt while eating at pizza hut yesterday

• Never ever hang out with the popular kids.
• Keep a low profile.
• Do not join dance or cheerleading; that's where all the popular kids belong to
• Keep a low profile
• If you do hang out with the popular kids and you have some kind of fallout. You keep a low profile.
• HANG OUT WITH YOUR CLASSMATES!

Your classmates will always be there for you! No matter what! Just stick together as a class alright! Haha. Talking about classes and all, I totally love 0643A! You people just totally rock!Everyone of you has your own scandal man! Haha. And yes! My recent blog entry on my dream guys has sparked some controversy in class! And I'd like to say that RH is totally the wrong person man! Sharon, he's all yours! haha. Out of all the scandals in class, I think Ibrahim's and Yanni's got the most potential! Totally!

Yeah, anyways going to school today was super slack-ish! We had no lit tutorials,no history tutorials, no civics, GP we had but could go to the library yeah so basicaaly the only real lesson was Tamil.

And oh my god, tamil is simply annoying! I hate him and I think he's starting to hate me too. I'm always talking to shreeya(small child). Yeah, I feel almost guilty that I'm going to leave her alone in tamil class if I go to CJ. And you can't hope for a different tamil teacher because he's the only freaking tamil teacher in the entire school! He's so annoying and I don't learn anything. I mean in secondary school I learnt something! He just talks rubbish; irrelevant stuff! And if the translators weren't in our group, I swear I'd just die! Haha, they basically translate everything we say because the teacher doesn't understand anything we say be it english or tamil.

I hate tamil.!

Oh yes, I also heard that the guitarist... well he's not attached! Haha. I don't think it's true but whatever. I heard alot of things about him today and about how he hurt himself and all! It totally turned me off. I am starting to like him less and less! Im so fickle-minded. But it's just that, I had painted this perfect picture of him and like I find out everyday that he's not as perfect as I think he is. I mean nobody's perfect but I don't know...

Sigh. ((:

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This song has been stuck in my head since HE sang the song at the concert.! I used to listen to this song quite a bit until I forgot that this song ever existed! But it's a wow song!

You by Bad Religion

There's a place where everyone can be happy
It's the most beautiful place in the whole fucking world
It's made of candy canes and planes and bright red choo choo trains
And the meanest little boys and the most innocent little girls

And you know I wish that I could go there
It's a road that I have not found
And I wish you the best of luck dear

Cause there's not time for fighting and fussing my friend
But baby I'm amazed by the hate that you can send

And YOU painted my entire world
But I don't have the turpentine to clean what you have soiled
And I won't forget it

There's a place where everyone can be right
Even though you remain determined to be opposed
Admittance requires no qualifications
It's where everyone has been and everybody goes
So please try not to be impatient
For we all hate standing in line
And when the farm is good and bought
You'll be there without a thought
And eternity my friends, is a long fucking time

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Damn. I didn't go to church again today. Have been feeling lazy and aimless for the past couple of days. The whole choosing of JCs and all has got me thinking about my future. And I just cannot visualise myself after the 'A' levels. I just cannot see myself in a university! My whole life I've just been saying to myself then I'll find out what I am interested in after my 'O' Levels. But it's just not happening. I feel so damn lost. I am pretty sure I want to go to the arts faculty but... my parents are worried that there are not many career prospects. I don't even know what I want to do. I have some kind of idea but just not very sure. Actually, I don't know. Maybe I do know what I want to do. Sigh. I thought things were supposed to get better after the results are out. But what the hell. I've still got 2 years to think about what I want to do. That's a huge advantage of going to JC. Other than that, school's ok.

Most of the people in my class are not staying. Yeah, gonna miss them! haha. Anyways, LOVE UNDER THE STARS WAS GREAT! It's a concert put up by The Musicians' Club from Innova JC at LT1. I thought it was weird that they played at the LT; it's so... restricted! But nevertheless, it was wondeful! Oh my God! I get chills thinking about it. They are all so damn talented! I got oddly jealous at one point when they introduced the parents of this talented Indian drummer to everyone. And, you could just see the pride on their faces. They were so damn proud of him! My parents have never ever looked at me like that before. I was so jealous! I felt useless! But he was really good. Played in the same band as the GUITARIST FROM THE CCA FAIR. haha. The guitarist was great! I almost died of orgasm! It was like wow! I was so happy he didn't lose his talent after cutting his hair! Yeah, he was great!

AND SHARON DID GOOD TOO! YOU WERE BEAUTIFUL AND SOUNDED GREAT AND YOUR DEDICATION TO ALVIN WAS BEAUTIFUL TOO ((:

BUT, he just got attached to a girl on Valentines' Day. Damn. But the girl is nice, talked to her a few times before. It was saddening to find that out. Sigh. But, I can still admire him from afar; not like I was gonna take any action. lol. Yeah, my friend told me what he did for his girl on V'day and I could just melt and die. And the girl wasn't even me. He wrote a poem and sang a song or something along those lines. Sweet!

I don't think I'll ever experience anything like that in my lifetime man! If ever a guy proposes to me( HOPEFULLY) , I think he'll do the singaporean thing and ask me if I want to apply for HDB flat! Damn. I AM A LOSER!

Anyways, after the concert ended went out for dinner/supper with Shreeya, Nadia and Michelle. I had Mee goreng, which was delicious!!Yep, after that we headed for the interchange! Then I got to my berth or whatever you call it. Then like a really bad nightmare, the guiutarist was there with his girl! I mean like, you have a good time talking to your friends totally forgetting that the first guy you've liked in so many damn years is attached just appears there WITH HIS GIRL! Why the hell did I have to turn my head around or else I wouldn't have seen them! Bleagh. It's so nightmare-ish! Damn. So I concentrated on the music blasting in my ears thanks to my mp3 player. If it wasn't for the music, I would have just died! Their bus came before mine, so all was good. Didn't look at them at all, was very tempted to but I didn't give in! ((:

Sigh. But everything's good now. I am not overly affected actually unfortunately. I think I've got a heart of stone. Damn.

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My phone is in its normal state now! It's not possessed anymore! Oh, the happiness that caused me. I just did the routine check, after I took my shower and I saw my Nightmare Before Christmas wallpaper! I was so happy! I hope it doesn't go back to being possessed anytime soon! (:

Anyways, I think my sisters are growing up too fast! The one in sec 1 got introduced to the very complicated world of boys. Damn. She has started talking to this guy from SJI. Sec 3. Haha. SJI's not bad. But I find him quite annoying. lol. I don't know why. I just didn't think she would start talking to guys so fast. Who am I kidding huh? Now girls are starting to have boyfriends at the age of like 11 and all. She's 13 and all the raging hormones are starting to take actions. Well, I'm just glad that she has someone to talk to (me). It's so cool being the youngest! You get like someone to talk to about stuff. But I ain't that experienced but I'll try.

Anyways, Valentine's Day just passed and all. And I was thinking about my other half. Well, if I had one, what he would be like you know. I couldn't sleep at night so I came up with a list of qualities/points that my future ... partner would have. If I have one.

-Must be a musician( Any instrument's fine but preferably piano or guitar)
-Must play with passion, feelings,emotions etc. (cannot be a dumbass blockhead)
-Preferable not good looking
-Medium Built
-Must be able to write beautifully
-Preferably an arts student
-Aware of political situations around the world/interested in current affairs
-Must have a goal in life
-Must be inspiring
-Must be sensitive

Yep. That's about it. OH YES! Let's say I like this guy, and he somehow finds out. He cannot tell his friends! NO WAY! Keep it to yourself man! haha.

So, if any of you find guys you think I'd like, introduce him (or her) to me in a few years' time when I've forgotten about the strange guitarist. Haha. Preferably HIM.

But for now I'd just admire my strange guitarist from far. I'm perfectly satisfied. haha ((:

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Argh. My freaking phone is possessed! I feel like dying now! Damn, this sucks! I can't read messages at all because the screen is like a blank. I only can recieve calls. This possession of my phone started on Saturday, but it went back to normal on Sunday morning then went back to being possessed on Sunday night and has been the same ever since.

This sucks! I can't read my messages! What if there's something important?! Don't think so but damn. I keep seeing the message icon on the front screen and I feel so damn helpless! Argh. Frustration. Anyways MrMahmood called me just now( he's my form teacher at Innova JC) and asked if I was staying at IJC. I said no, and he asked me for reasons for why I ain't staying. I figured then that it was just another ploy for them to convince us to stay. You know, like teachers actually bother to call up-- Caring teachers? Haha. I don't know. But I convinced him, I wouldn't be right for Innova and he hung up. I don't even think he likes Innova all that much. I mean during civics lessons, he 's always dissing the material that the school gives him. It's so damn propaganda-ish. Seriously! But whatever.

I am so worried about my phone. Bleagh. It's only 2 months old. I should have just bought nokia phone. Damn LG. They're only good for washing machines and dryers. I make bad judgements! My dad told me to just stick to a nokia. But I wanted something different; I wanted to be different. And look how everything turned out. Argh. Ok I have to chill. There's still a slight slim chance that it may return back to normal! Until then, I am just gonna continue praying to God.
Oh damn, what has become of me? I am now praying to God about something so materialistic. Shit. But I guess handphone's kind of a neccesity now right? I cannot imagine myself without handphone! Sometimes I can though, like when my mom keeps calling me if I am not back home. But other than that, a handphone is really a neccesity!

My dad just came in and said that he's gonna follow me to SAJC to appeal once the postings are out. I still don't think I can get in though. But this is the first time, my dad is so involved in my life! He's smiling more ((: and yea we talk more! I feel everything is going to be better now because I did good and he is satisfied. Come to think about it, the thing that got us off-track was my PSLE results. Disappointment. After that we just... disconnected.(?) Sigh. But everything's better for now, until I tell him about my handphone. He's gonna be so damn pissed. 298 bucks! Sigh. Hopefully it will work by tomorrow.

Tomorrow's Valentines' day. No date but I've got dateS. Haha. With friends. Can't wait!

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It's a great day today. Everything is over. Well that part of my secondary school life at least. Glad to say that I got 13 points for the 'O's. Really happy but was disappointed with my accounts;B3. Damn. But Science! Never got pass a C5 for science and got an A2. And combined humans. Who would have thought that a person who studied 2 chapters for Social studies of which none came out would get A1? Haha, I guess my history pulled up my combined humans. All I have to say is Thank YOU So much Mr Ng! I know I would never have achieved this grade if it wasn't for Mr Ng. Yea. All is good now. Parents are really happy! Especially Mom. She's ecstatic! She bought for me Ferrero Roche! Lol. Plus she's gonna transfer 100 bucks to my account!

To reward myself, I think Im gonna get a 20 GB Creative Zen... eventually! I just don't want to spend all my savings on one thing then regret. So I am going to think it over.

Another issue I have to think about is JAE. I don't know if I should try for SAJC. But will just try. I am 90% sure I won't get it. But just try. Will probably get into CJC. Well, hopefully. My mom's asking me to put Anderson as my third choice but erm. I've never even considered Anderson. It's a good JC but I don't think I wanna go there. My mom is so happy for my science that she wants me to consider sciemce stream! LOL. I hate science and will never do well in it. But I think if I go to CJC, then I won't be able to take lit. Then Im stuck. I will have to take science! Then, I can't even imagine what my life would be like. But if I take lit, then I don't know if I can cope.And I know I cannot take geog because I hate geog and I cannot do geog. Damn.

I am stuck! I guess I'll work super damn hard during lit. So scared.! I mean CJ is like one of the best schools in Arts Stream. Ok, I WILL work hard as hell. Bleagh.

Anyways that aside, I am proud of every single one of my friends. They did well! Yay! It's a happy day!

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School was retardedly retarded. Don't know why. We had economics lecture, where of course I fell asleep. Then I had economics tutorials and we had a pop quiz. But the teacher let us have 15 mins to ourselves to revise. And for the first time, in 4-5 weeks, I actually read and understood economics. Until now, I have not paid attention to any economics lecture and so I didn't know anything about economics until today when I was somewhat forced to read up. And I found, it is actually quite interesting. But, I don't think this newfound interest in econs is going to help me pay attention because the teacher is super boring! I think I might have to attend economics supplementary lessons after the first 3 months! Damn.But I have to.

Anyways, I was thinking about my future. Let's say I go to a JC, take my 'A' Levels and get crappy results. I am basically stuck.No where to go unless I go to the poly. And the thought of working really hard just puts me off. But I know I have to work hard. I have to. Sigh. My mom suddenly developed an interest for poly education. She was look at some poly stuff. She said she wouldn't mind if I did something related to IT. There are exciting career prospects or something. But I am not interested at all, wha the hell do you do in IT courses. Sounds freaking boring. But then again, I am not really interested in anything. ((:

Anyways, bought tickets for the V-day Concert at IJ. Love under the stars. That's what it's called. I am so excited. I get to see Strange Guitarist At The CCA Fair in action. Haha. I hope he still can play. Why the hell did he have to cute his hair. But I he should be able to play. I am freaking out for nothing. That story in the bible about him losing his talent happened quite a while back. Haha. Bleagh. Yep, just cannot wait!

But in order for next friday to come, I have to pass friday. shit. I am so damn nervous. My friend told me she read a blog of a girl who has a cousin who is in some JAE thingy and he said that everyone in general did pretty badly for the 'O's.

Anyways, listening to so cool music now. A friend from class, Alvin introduced a couple of bands.! He's got taste but he doesn't like CoheedAndCambria. Damn. He says they don't make music! Bleagh. BUT, he showed me a band on the purevolume site. It's a local band called Surreal Singapore. Yep, their songs are damn cool. Well, I've only heard 3 songs. But they're great! Oh and yes, I finally got a purevolume listeners' account. Haha. It' s better, I have everything on my profile now instead of having to search for the bands. Yay. But I still waiting to receive the username and password which is taking so damn long. But it's worth the wait! Damn, purevolume's screwed up now. Shit. Apparently, there's some problem connecting to the database.Whatever.

Haha. Oh yea, took a couple of pictures with class. Great fun. I think we'll probably have some kind of class outing on monday night. Yep. Sigh, valentine's day is coming. Will be heading off to Sembawang beach. Exciting shit. Can't wait.

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4 Jobs You Have Had In Your Life
- Class Chairperson
- Band Section Leader
- TL Rep at IJC
- Lazy Ass

4 Movies You Could Watch Over And Over
- Hot Chick
- The Breakfast Club
- The Phantom Of the opera
- The Interpreter

4 TV Shows You Love(d)
- One Tree Hill
- Desperate Housewives
- Lost
- Gilmore Girls

4 Places You Have Been On Vacation To
- India
- Malaysia
- Indonesia
- Sentosa

4 Places You Would Rather Be
- At School in IJ Sec Tp
- With Friends
- Sleeping on my bed
- Working Somewhere earning money

4 Of Your Favourite Foods
-Chicken Rice
- Fishball Noodles (Dry)
- Instant Noodles
- Mee Goreng

4 Websites You Visit
- Purevolume
- Friendster
- Blogger
- Google

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Sigh. Results are out on friday. 4 days time. Damn it. I am so scared. My dad is quite confident I think. He is sure that I'll make it into a JC. But what if I don't? Damn. I hate this. I just want to get it over and done with it. I am so scared

The other day, saturday I dreamt that I had freaking 26 points! What the hell. The disappointment on my parents' faces was like... omg. And this dream felt so damn real! When I woke up, I was so freaking relieved then said a quick prayer to thank God that it was a dream. Next morning, I started crying when both my parents started talking about the results. Both thought I was mad obviously. But yea, I was so scared! I hate freaking nightmares. I hate sleeping!

I don't think I will be able to get SAJC but whatever. I think any JC should be fine. But I won't be able to school with Keisha then. Bleagh. However, I am okay with Innova if I get 15 points and above. My mom's pretty impressed with the school after the parents' session and everything. So yea. I mean the teachers are great. My class is great and all. I wouldn't mind staying there. I just don't want to go through orientataion. Maybe I'll be the OGL. Would be fun.

Haha. Bleagh. That's if I stay.

Damn. I am so scared. 26 points. Scary dream man. Will never forget that one and... the dog one.Ever since the dog nightmare, scary dogs have been appearing everywhere! The next day was an article on the front page. About dogs. Headline was 'Cute but DEADLY'. Freaky shit man. Then today, was watching the face transplant news conference and they said about how her face was destroyed. Yep. Dog ripped off her face. Well part of it. Don't know the whole story. Apparently she was sleeping, dog trying to wake her up so maybe there's a chance that it was to wake her up to warn her of something. BUT it still did rip off half her face.

Dogs are so scary!

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Last night, I dreamt of something which would probably make me hate dogs forever! I used to love dogs! They were so damn cute, and adorable... until last night. The worst nightmare I've had in so many damn years; I am still very obviously traumatised. Basically, I dreamt that I was walking down some non-existent hill which was near my church. And there was this cute dog behind me. So I decided to play with it and I kind of like ran around. The dog thought I was trying to run away from it and probably got insulted and bloody hell started to chase me around. I ran so freaking fast because I was so scared and the dog called some other really scary looking dogs! It was like 5 scary and 1 cute dog chasing me! So I hid in this place to escape but the dogs saw me and they all attacked me. I remember it was damn painful! Oh my God. So they attacked me. Well only 5 of the 6 dogs attacked me. Yeah. so I ran away you know. And bloody hell, the dog that didn't rip me apart wanted to... rip me apart. And so I had to start running again! I ran so damn freaking fast (!!). Yeah. So anyways, I went into this guy's house; his name's erm. Rajeev I think. I don't know any such person in real life but what the hell. So anyways I hide for like 30 minutes, dog's not coming, I am talking to him. Everything's fine until I hear the bell of the dog's collar. And so I hide in the toilet which has like a filmsy plastic door! What the hell! FILMSY PASTIC DOOR. Anyways, I hide in the toilet and the dog tries to get inside. This dog I tell you looks so freaking scary. It's like a black dog, scary looking dog. You know in the movie The Mask, the dog wears the mask towards the end of the movie. And it looks so damn freaking scary. Yeah, the dream dog looked exactly like that but only 100 times worst! And the stupid plastic door obviously didn't help! And in the end I die.

After that dream, I couldn't sleep at all! Oh my god, it was like hell. I am so traumatised. .I am so freaking afraid to sleep! Argh. But I'll try. Dreams are scary. Is this a bad sign?!?! I mean this is the year of the dog and all! OMG! What if I do really badly for the 'O's. Shit!

I am so freaking scared. Results probably coming out in 2 weeks time, so damn scared. This dream is making the situation even harder to handle. Bleagh. Wish me good luck!

Ahhh.

Good Night, and Good Luck.

:)

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